Boost Your Business Growth By Eliminating These High-Functioning Stress Addict Tendencies
Written by: Rachel & David Godfrey • October 10, 2023
Image Source: https://unsplash.com/@Slidebean
Picture this:
(or maybe you don’t have to, because it’s already all-too-real)
You’re stressed, overwhelmed and largely functioning on autopilot.
The money is good… but life is not.
At the start of your career, you launched yourself into work. You were driven, hard working and took responsibility for anything that came your way.
Some of that drive came from ambition — you were excited to build an extraordinary life. You knew that, if you wanted to have what most people don’t, you had to do what most people won’t.
However, some of that drive is also self-destructive.
Sometimes your “drive” stems from perfectionism. Scrutinizing everything you do to the nth degree, looking for flaws, mistakes or things you could’ve missed.
Maybe it’s overthinking. Constantly worrying about “what if…?” questions, trying to predict the unpredictable, and control the uncontrollable.
Or people pleasing? Constantly taking on more work, saying ‘yes’ when you wish you said ‘no,’ and violating your own personal boundaries in order to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or not feel judged or criticized.
Sometimes this insatiable drive is the insidious need to appear bullet proof and infallible, which leads to worrying about what others think, and ruminating over conversations. This can also lead to a lack of vulnerability and never letting people get too close — because what if they see everything you’re struggling with?!
Perhaps it’s workaholic behaviors where you feel the need to justify your own existence by always doing something useful or valuable. And the moment you stop, you feel like you’re wasting time or being worthless.
Maybe it’s being the helper or the fixer. You only feel like you’re enough or worthy when you’re needed by somebody else. If you’re not needed, then what good are you? Or you only feel worthy when you’re the go-to problem solver — the only person who can get things done in a crisis. So now, even though crises are stressful, you’re addicted to them because they make you feel validated.
All of this gets compounded even further when your work meets your need for self-worth, to feel in control and to escape.
Firstly, work can become a substitute for your self-worth.
It’s the only place where you feel valuable, worthy, needed or like you’re enough. As they say with addiction, you can never get enough of something that ALMOST works.
It ALMOST makes you feel like you’re enough, it ALMOST feels like self-worth, but it’s not TRUE self-worth. It just gives you a temporary hit of external validation. But, of course, it doesn’t last, so you keep going back for more.
Secondly, work can become a source of external “certainty.”
We all need to feel a sense of control, safety or stability. If it’s lacking in one area, we often find ourselves looking to make up the deficit from other areas.
This doesn’t give you what you really want or need, but it does temporarily mask the pain.
So you may feel out of control in your relationship, your dating life, your health or your relationship with yourself. But you feel in control of your working environment. It feels predictable and controllable. So you keep turning to work for that hit of “certainty” or “control.”
Finally, work can be a distraction or give you a sense of escape from struggles you’re having in your personal life.
The longer you work, the less time you have to spend with your own thoughts.
The upshot of having these traits is that you can achieve some BIG things in your career. You climb the professional ladder, build your business, make good money, and maybe even get some recognition along the way.
But unfortunately, this will often entrench you even deeper into the same problem. And as your career grows, the responsibility, demands, expectations and workload increase with it.
So while you can achieve a decent level of material success as a high-functioning stress addict, you’ll eventually hit a glass ceiling that you’ll never be able to break through, if you continue to allow these habits to drive you.
That’s why we say, “What got you here, won’t get you there.”
So not only do you find yourself plateauing, but all that stress and overwhelm bleeds into more and more of your personal life.
You find yourself stuck in survival mode more frequently. Which means you have less and less time, space or energy to build a life by design. And if you don’t build a life by design, you end up with a life by default.
You are nowhere near fulfilling your potential. You know it, and it’s pissing you off.
Now, that might sound harsh, but we WANT to trigger you. We want to trigger something within you, so we can finally set you free.
At what point do you see this approach to your life working?
Do you see it leading to genuine happiness and fulfillment?
Do you envision yourself being genuinely successful in ALL areas of life — health, wealth and love — AND enjoying the journey along the way?
If you’re a high-functioning stress addict like we were, we know that…
Something HAS to change.
The solution doesn’t have to be to quit your career, burn your business to the ground, renounce all materialism and take up chanting or bongo drums!
Of course you can still be driven, hard working and ambitious! You can have it all — the body, business, career, relationship and lifestyle.
BUT NOT THE WAY YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT.
Ask yourself these questions honestly:
What’s going to happen if I never fix this problem?
What brick wall am I headed toward that I’ve been pretending isn’t there?
What does the 10-15 year prognosis for my health, relationships, overall happiness and quality of life look like?
We know they can be terrible questions to ask, but this is what it takes to change your life — once and for all.
Because so far, you’ve likely been telling yourself that now isn’t the right time. You’ve been saying things like…
“When I get through the NEXT phase…”
“When I finish THIS project…”
“When I have MORE time and LESS stress…”
THEN I’ll get myself together.
You’re waiting for the day you’re less stressed and overwhelmed… before you start fixing the reason why you’re stressed and overwhelmed! It’s ironic, really.
Now, there’s zero judgment here. You’ve been in complete survival mode and doing all you can to keep your head above water. Combined with the fact that this is a blind spot for most people.
And we’re not blaming, shaming or assigning any fault here. You can’t be held accountable for something you were completely oblivious to.
But now that you’re aware, you can make a better choice and do something about it. Because if not now, then when?!
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