How To Overcome “Trolls” and “Haters” When Creating Great Content

Written by: John Williams • April 18, 2023

Image Source: https://unsplash.com/@soy_danielthomas

Chances are you’re not putting your thoughts out enough online—on social media, to your email list, and elsewhere.

If so, this will seriously limit your business!

So why do we do this?

We always have a logical explanation such as “I don’t know what to say” … 

But the real reason is usually a deep-rooted fear lurking beneath. 

The fear of criticism and attack: the angry troll tearing us apart on a social media post, telling us we are wrong or an idiot or that what we wrote is unforgivable… 

Let’s dive in and unpick this so you can stop worrying about the haters.

Because the longer you listen to the haters, the more you and your business will suffer.

Why? Well, think about all the energy you give them; the thoughts and worry and anxiety.

Also, think about all the things you don’t put out into the world, just because you worry what those trolls may say—even though you know some people NEED to hear what you say.

I get it. I do. It isn’t easy. Doesn’t matter, you still need to step beyond this.

Once you do, you’ll soon see the positive impact this has on your content, marketing, and business overall—best of all, none of this has to be as hard as you might fear. 

Do. Not. Fear. The. Trolls!

I grew up with an unhelpful belief that perhaps you share… 

I believed that if someone has a strong negative reaction to something I did, I must have done something wrong (and the angrier they were the more terrible I had been!) 

If some part of you believes the same thing you’ll always hold yourself back from being as visible as you could be (and having the impact you want to).

Eighteen years of business experience have taught me that there is no topic you can post about that someone won’t disagree with; sometimes violently. 

But let’s look at what’s really happening when someone’s reaction is far out of proportion to what you wrote…

We all carry psychological baggage around with us. 

And there are two kinds of psychological baggage that underlie online criticism and attacks.

1. Hot Buttons

Some topics become charged due to our history. They become hot buttons. When something someone does or says triggers these hot buttons, logic abandons us.

We have an instant emotional reaction!

To show you just how difficult it is to predict what will trigger other people’s hot buttons, here’s an example from my own life. 

When I was at school, our family dentist was a scary guy. 

But because he was a friend of the family we stuck with him. 

Each time I arrived at his treatment room, he’d have classical music playing in the background. 

So there he was, standing in the doorway wearing his small, round glasses and revealing his gold tooth, the sounds of violins soaring behind him. 

He looked more like a villain from a James Bond movie than someone there to help me. 

Once I sat in the dental chair, things got worse… 

He did nothing to reassure his nervous young patient and had a reputation for not using painkillers for procedures.

So after several years of this experience, I came to associate the sounds of a string quartet with my terror of going to the dentist.  This continues today… you could play me the most beautiful piece of music on a violin and I still get a chill go down my spine. 

… and an overpowering desire to leave the room! 

Now, if you were a violinist witnessing this reaction, you’d likely interpret it as a critique of your playing. I imagine you might feel rather upset, angry, defensive, and so on…

So the point here is that you have no idea what hot buttons your innocent piece of content might trigger in people. You cannot control this. It’s often not about you. In fact, most of the time it isn’t.

It is about them and the experiences they have experienced throughout their life.

2. Projection

A second kind of psychological baggage presents itself as projection. 

In every family some emotions and ideas that are a normal part of the human experience become taboo. It could be anger, jealousy, neediness, competitiveness, or greed…

Because our parents communicated shame around that particular aspect of ourselves, we suppress it. Eventually, we don’t even realize we feel it. But as we now know, when you suppress something from your awareness, you project it onto others. 

We see the thing we deny in ourselves loud and clear in others—and we have a strong negative reaction to it.

An example of this…

Some families disapprove of anything that looks like ‘showing off’. 

That might include celebrating your own successes, acknowledging your own strengths or simply appearing overconfident. If you learned to suppress any desire to blow your own trumpet, you’ll project it onto others. 

This means you become super-sensitive and irritated by it!

This is a very common theme of online trolls. 

They’re angry that you seem to get the attention they so badly want but deny themselves. Have you noticed how the really determined trolls will criticize you repeatedly for both attracting attention and daring to share your opinion… 

All the while missing the fact they’re doing the same?

As you can see, online attacks are often not about you at all—even if the critic thinks it is.

So this is how I think of it… 

Somewhere around 1-2% of the Western population has an allergy to peanuts. For some of those, the reaction is severe. I feel for them. But it’s not peanuts’ fault that some people are allergic to them. Peanuts didn’t do anything wrong. 

Some people’s immune systems are wired to overreact to the harmless proteins in peanuts.

Most haters’ comments are just like this: an allergic reaction; one based on projection and historical hot buttons—it isn’t about you.

You could post about what you might consider the most uncontroversial topic in the world. If you have enough reach, someone will still have an allergic reaction to it. 

And let’s leave aside the people creating content that is controversial—the rock band or rapper with explicit lyrics or the cultural critic posting about sensitive political issues. 

For most of us, the amount of criticism and anger we meet is largely a factor of our reach. 

In short… become more famous and you will get more hate. 

Being bland isn’t the answer

There is no avoiding criticism, even if you deliberately try not to offend anyone.

Take the band Coldplay… 

Their music is inoffensive, their lyrics are uncontroversial, and Chris Martin and his band-mates seem like likable guys. Yet despite this, some people hate them with a passion. 

Why? For being bland (there are several “I hate Coldplay” T-shirts available to buy online).

So if you think you can somehow avoid conflict by watering down your message and ideas, think again. Haters are the price of success. The more successful you are, the larger the number of people who know you and the more likely it is that some of those will have an allergic reaction.

Think about it; people don’t make T-shirts about hating a band no one has heard of. 

And no one writes a long editorial about how some entrepreneur is the scourge of the world when the entrepreneur is having no impact.

Your work is to know your own values, to check that you honestly believe you are doing good in the world, and to work on yourself so that when the critics do come you’re OK with it.

It is work well worth doing and it will free you to say what you really want to say online so that you can have a much greater impact on your followers.

An exercise in bravery

Here’s an exercise to help you be a little braver in the face of criticism… 

Is there something you have thought about sharing that you’ve held back on because you feared criticism for it? 

If so, take a moment and imagine you just posted that piece of content. 

• What is the worst someone could say in response? 

• What is the comment you most fear? 

Imagine someone has written that exact comment. Can you cope? 

Be honest with yourself. If it feels too sensitive, perhaps the time isn’t right. But if you can read that comment and still know you’re trying to do the right thing, perhaps it is time to go ahead.

Early on in my career, I wrote a blog post about my father’s death in a car accident when I was only 6 months old. 

As I prepared to hit publish, I felt vulnerable because the content was so personal and emotive. So I asked myself… “What is the worst imaginable comment?”

I guessed someone could say, “I’m glad your father died.” 

It would be a weirdly sadistic thing to say but would I be OK with it? I pondered it for a moment and then thought “Yes”. 

What if someone said, “You’re using this tragic event to manipulate people’s emotions”? OK, that one is a little closer to the bone as a writer, but I’d still be OK with it. 

So I posted the piece and it got a very warm and supportive response. I decided to use the content of the post in my first book (now titled ‘F**k Work Let’s Play”) and many readers have described it as one of the most impactful parts of the whole book.

My point is, it’s often the posts that feel like a risk that get the largest response. 

Try this bravery exercise and take a little risk with your content today.

At first, it feels hard. Over time, as you practice, it gets easier. Bravery is a muscle you can build. Keep building that muscle and use it to share the content you need to!

I hope this helps, and if you want to dive deeper, you may like my free mini-course: Clearing the 7 Psychological Blocks To Success—it takes what we’ve covered here to new levels, helping you take the steps you and your audience need.

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