How To Break Free From The Box And Embrace Your “Different”

Written by: Celi Arias • September 07, 2023

Image Source: https://unsplash.com/@creator

When you were growing up, did you ever feel different? Out of place? Like you didn’t fit in? Maybe you felt special somehow? 

Even now, do you sense that you're destined for something greater, yet the confines of societal norms have, over time, squashed your dreams? 

If so, you’re not alone.

So many people spend their lives attempting to "fit in." Into metaphorical boxes — constructed by families, friends, peers and society as a whole — that we then feel pressured to continuously squeeze ourselves into. 

Yet these boxes dictate other people's ideas of who we should be and how we should act. 

Despite our best efforts to fit in, many of us often feel a dissonance — a perpetual sense of not quite belonging anywhere…. Because the boxes are there to keep us safe and in-line, ultimately not achieving our biggest and wildest dreams. 

Today I'm going to explain why you might be feeling this way, and what you can do to break free of it — once and for all.

Why Conforming To Society's "Boxes" Limits Your Potential 

In both life and business, the idea of "a box" often becomes an obstacle, rather than a helpful guide.

We attempt cookie-cutter solutions that work for others, or apply one-size-fits-all approaches to our businesses, all trying to fit into pre-existing boxes. Yet, we all know that what works for one person or business may not work for another. 

Everybody is unique, requiring tailored solutions to reach their distinct goals, audiences, and circumstances. Just as individuals have quirks and strengths, our businesses also have their own unique characteristics and needs. 

So trying to force yourself or your business into a standard mold can stifle potential and limit your growth. And anyone who offers the “one-solution” or the “one thing that will fix it all” should at a minimum, hopefully make you tilt your head and get curious, because it is almost never the case that there is one quick fix or one solution that works for everyone. 

How To Embrace Your Uniqueness, Grow Your Business & Skyrocket Your Potential

The journey to breaking free from the confines from which we’ve been operating may seem daunting…

However, the rewards of embracing your individuality are invaluable. Here are four steps you can take to start this process today:

1. Embrace Your Individuality

A coach said this to me once when I was obsessing on perfecting my Dashboards for my clients. He said to me, “different is better, than better.” Now apparently he took this from a book, but the words rang in my head. If being different is better than better, then I need to put some energy into standing out and not obsessing about my Dashboard that no-one’s even seen yet. So how do we make sure to be different? 

Start by acknowledging and accepting your uniqueness. This step involves self-reflection and an understanding that your distinctive qualities are unique. What seems basic and obvious to you, is someone else’s treasure trove. 

Your idiosyncrasies, preferences, talents, and even perceived flaws create your difference. Rather than attempting to conceal or change these aspects, celebrate them. They are what set you apart from the crowd and make you, you.

If you’re really not sure of what these are, ask your clients and trusted friends. They will tell you what makes you unique, and you may even be surprised.

2. Ditch The One-Size-Fits-All Approach

Abandon the belief that there is a universal blueprint for success. In business, strategies and models that work for one company may or may not be effective for another. This is due to a multitude of factors, not least of which being that we all have different end-goals. 

Just think about it for a second.  If the destination is different, then you better believe the journey is going to look different. Even if we both wanted a 7-figure business, that businesses, our impact, our mission, our lives would look very different. The journey and strategy you build needs to be uniquely catered to your goals. 

So say no to the offers that seem obviously one-size-fits-all. If you’re here for the long game of enjoying your business and your life, your business strategy needs to be just as unique as you are. 

3. Create Your Own Strategy

Armed with an understanding of your uniqueness, you're now ready to devise your own path. This involves creating strategies that align with your personal goals, values, and circumstances. 

The same goes for your unique business model, which requires its own strategy. This could mean starting a business that aligns with your passions, implementing work-life boundaries that suit your lifestyle and family needs, developing a business model that caters to your target audience's unique needs, or creating a marketing strategy that highlights your brand's distinctive attributes.

4. Don’t Be Afraid To Stand Out 

Finally, remember that standing out is NOT something to fear, but rather an opportunity. Individuals who make a significant impact are often those who dare to be different. They reject societal norms and expectations that don't align with their identity or values. Instead, they embrace their individuality. 

Standing out will feel uncomfortable, because your brain is actually wired for safety. That’s why the catch phrase “Life happens outside of your comfort zone” is well, so catchy. Remember that your desire to ‘fit in’ is in fact your brain wanting you to feel safe, and is oftentimes not the thing that will get you noticed, get you more clients, or break through any of the barriers you’re currently feeling.  

Real-Life Client Story: She Didn't Feel Like She Fit In Either

I recently chatted with a client who has been wrestling with "fitting in" her entire life.

On the surface, she's living the perfect life. She has a thriving career, beauty, a wonderful family, and is a published and recognized author. 

Yet, she often feels like she doesn't fit in — at all. And this feeling intensified when she was preparing to speak at a public event. 

Conforming to cultural norms, she thought she needed to wear a black or gray suit in order to meet the expectations of the room and be taken seriously. She was still  trying to squeeze herself into a box she knew she never felt comfortable in. 

Why do we conform to the norms that have never made us feel accepted? Why do we keep trying to fit in and hope for a different outcome?  

What would be so terrible about showing up at an event as your fully embodied self?

We worked through the blocks, we calmed the nervous system, and instead of conforming to that black-gray-suit-expectation-box, my client decided to harness her individuality, break the norm and wear her hot pink suit for the event. 

And did she make a statement? She stepped out of the conventional box and into her unique self for the world to see. Not only did she shine on stage, but she referenced the suit in her speech in a light hearted way, which softened the room, created more intimacy and trust with her audience, drawing them closer to her. People came up to her and thanked her for her authenticity and asked her about her work for the rest of the event.

So the lesson here is clear:

Every time you try to conform to someone else's model and find it's not working, take it as a sign. 

The next time you feel the pressure to fit into a box in life or business, pause and reflect. You've expended a LOT of energy trying to escape the confines of the box. So why, then, do you find yourself trying so hard to get back in?

Your unique qualities are a strength, not a liability. Stand tall in your uniqueness, and let the world adjust to you, not the other way around. 

Embracing and utilizing your unique attributes will open doors to opportunities that a conventional box could never contain. 

After all, who wants to live life or conduct business on someone else's terms anyway?

If you want to break free from any and all boxes and expectations for good…

See what's standing between you and your 7-figure business (and discover your next game-changing move).

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