Elegant DM Outreach: How To Bridge The Gap From Connections to Conversions

Written by: Selina Feng • June 07, 2023

Image Source: https://unsplash.com/@nickmorrison

Let me paint a picture I’m sure you know (VERY) well…

You accept a new friend request, and then, a few minutes later… you get a notification.

It’s this new “friend”, sliding into your DMs…

Eyes rolling and anxiety building, you’re ready to swipe delete before you even read it.

Yet what if it didn’t have to be this way… what if we lived in a world that treats your DMs with respect and grace? This is the world I dream of and it’s the one I’m committed to building.

But more on that in a second. First, we need to shine a light on you.

Because as well as being someone who hates to get spammed with one sleazy sales pitch after another, you’re also a business owner that wants to grow and make more sales.

You’re on social media and you may commit a lot of time and money to content, ads, audience-building, mentorship, and… you *know* there may be huge opportunities in the DM.

But … you might feel some resistance to using it because you don’t want to come across as some sleazy marketer.

You also don’t want to ruin the hard-earned reputation you’ve built in recent years.

Most importantly… you just don’t want to be “that” person; it sends shivers up your spine!

If this feels familiar, know that I wrote this article for you.

There is a way to connect in the DMs without the need to use any sleazy or weird sales tactics.

In fact, with the right approach, you may find this becomes your new “go-to” strategy to BOTH increase leads/sales and form amazing, long-lasting connections.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves…

Because before I reveal this strategy, you first need to understand WHY it works…

Why Do People Buy?

It’s a simple question with a complex answer… why do people buy?

Why do YOUR people buy?

The specifics differ depending on your industry and the type of person you work with, but in general, it centers around a Problem and/or a Goal.

Right now, your audience feels a strong desire to overcome a problem.

They also dream of a solution; driven toward a goal.

In order for someone to buy, these feelings need to be strong enough.

Either a strong desire to overcome their problem… a desire to achieve some kind of outcome… or a combination of the two.

Your job as an entrepreneur is to bridge this Gap.

Problem → Goal → Missing Gap

This is why someone buys and this is what stands between you and those you serve.

By connecting to your potential clients in the DMs, you can bridge this gap with them.

But you will not achieve this through force or sleazy sales tactics.

Instead, it’s learning to guide them through three specific phases … do this and you’ll turn something most people get wrong into your superpower.

The 3 Phases of Intentional Connection

There are three simple phases to forming true, lasting connections.

I call it the ICT Flow.

Intrigue → Connect → Trust

We’ll dive into each soon, but first I need to tell you about a VERY important step that you have to take to ensure this process works. If you fail to do this *one* thing, everything else fails.

You Have To Take Control of The Conversation.

This is true in most situations, but especially when you’re in someone’s DM.

Why? Because you (nor they) don’t have the time to waste!

Think about it… having a conversation with someone over DM can span several hours (or even days). This is not a sales call where you’re both engaged at the same time. 

So although time is always important, it’s even more so in this situation.

It’s your job to keep the conversation on track!

If you don’t, you will end up in the friend zone.

… which may sound fine, but it isn’t. 

Because if you get stuck in the friend zone, you’ll

1. Fail to establish credibility and authority

2. Fail to progress the conversation toward action

3. Waste THEIR time because nothing happens but small talk

Nobody thrives in this scenario. So it’s your job to be the facilitator.

Once you do, these 3 Phases come into play…

INTRIGUE

During this initial phase, your aim is to Capture and Keep their attention.

(and overall warm them up and make the whole experience feel natural)

Take your time with this. Not too much, of course… you don’t want to end up in the friend zone.

But it is important to ensure this entire conversion feels natural.

Be curious. Be excited. Be human!

You may ask questions like…

• What do you do?

• How long have you done this?

• What inspired you to take this leap?

• Why do you love what you do?

As they answer, share parts of your own story (where relevant).

You want to be interesting here… to come across as someone who’s present.

Not a bot. Not someone with an ulterior motive. At this stage, you’re curious to learn more about who they are, what they do, and whether the two of you are like-minded.

CONNECT

Now you’ve laid some foundations and have a greater understanding of who they are, you need to build a connection between you and them.

Again, don’t rush this. Every question you ask… each thing you say… you need to do so with intention and purpose. Remember, you are the person leading this conversation.

Keep it on track and keep it moving forward.

Not too fast, not too slow…

The way you do this is by honing on their

1. Problem: the current pain/frustration they feel

2. Goal: the solution they desire; what they wish life looked like

You need to ‘listen to understand’ at this point… lead with an open mind and get to understand what their current situation is.

… as well as what they wish it was!

As you do, gradually bring you/how you help into the picture. You’re not selling anything at this stage; you don’t want to make any of this about you!

Your aim here is to simply be Relevant!

… to show them that you hear them, understand them, and “get” them.

Ask questions like…

• What are you currently working on in your business?

• What’s come up recently that you’ve found challenging?

• How does this make you feel?

• What does moving beyond this look like?

This phase is all about strategically building a bridge between You + Them.

You need to be intentional about this. You need to take control and guide the conversation.

Above all… you need to care, remain curious, and listen to better understand them.

TRUST

Once you reach this phase in the process, you SEE them; you know WHO they are.

This can all happen quickly, too, giving you a clear understanding of if/how you can help.

If you can, now is the time to place more focus on yourself.

Share your expertise with practical advice…

Prove your credibility with stories, anecdotes, and examples…

In phase two, you learned about their Problem + Goal … now is the time to bridge the GAP.

You don’t need to push hard here, either—that’s the genius of this entire process.

All you have to do is ask questions like…

• Would you be open to support at the moment to help you progress toward your goal?

• Would you like to discuss this further over a phone call?

• I have a process that may help you… would you like to see it?

Depending on your business/offer, this *may* be where the sale comes from.

But in most cases, it’s a gentle nudge to delve deeper (ex: to invite to a consul call).

In my experience - that I’ve seen countless times myself because this is how I’ve acquired many of my clients BUT also through the eyes of coaching my own clients when they connect with their audience - this process results in actual conversations that lead somewhere.

Sales and conversions, sure… but even if that isn’t the case, meaningful connection!

Connection is important because that in and of itself carries a lot of weight.

… future sales.

… referrals.

… collaborations.

… to name just a few!

It’s incredible what can happen inside your DMs—you just didn’t know it was possible because you may have only experienced sleazy sales speak that sends shivers up and down your spine.

But as you can now clearly see… it doesn’t have to be that way.

So long as you have the right approach with the right mindset.

Because when it comes to making consistent sales in our business, it’s less about saying or asking the perfect questions, it’s the energy that you project to the other person.

Which is exactly what I’d love to share with you inside my DM Scripts guide —to fast-track your success and make this whole process even easier.

Right now, there could be so many potential clients in your DMs that can't wait to sign up to your services....

Beyond the clients, there are collaborations, referrals, friendships, and much more.

With the right mindset, energy, and the right approach, you can thrive where others fail to survive.

After reading this article, you now have access to both the process and the mindset!

I hope reading this has inspired and empowered you to start connecting more meaningfully with your audience. If it has and you’d like to continue to learn more: would love to invite you to grab these Intentional DM Sales Script.

I created these on the back of trialing, testing, and perfecting this process many times over the years within my business and serving many of my clients.

I know that by using this guide, it will shift your perspective on direct-message, selling in a way that feels good and that brings you many more aligned clients on the way! Good luck :) 

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